How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight Read online

  Which will break first? The case, or Shand?

  “This book started off with a bang and sped quickly down a steep hill with more twists than a twisty thing. I really enjoyed this book and could hardly put it down!” - Diane Johnstone

  “I gave up sleep so that I could read to the surprising and satisfying ending. I laughed out loud in public in response to the quirky plot twists. An Unsafe Pair of Hands by Chris Dolley is a masterful addition to the British mystery genre.” - Barth Siemens

  “This mystery is so much fun. The humor is delightful and the plot is complex enough to keep you turning pages to the end. And the characters are marvelous, from the snobby London “incomers” the Marchants to The Moleman and even a cock-a-doodle-dooing chicken, all of whom are suspect at one time or other. This is by far one of the best summer reads of 2011.” - Jensview

  What Ho, Automaton! — $2.99

  Finalist for the 2012 WSFA Small Press Award for short fiction and the first of the Reeves and Worcester Steampunk Mysteries.

  Wodehouse Steampunk! Reggie Worcester and Reeves, his automaton valet, are consulting detectives in an alternative 1903 where an augmented Queen Victoria is still on the throne and automata are a common sight below stairs. Humour, Mystery, Aunts and Zeppelins!

  “A fun blend of P.G. Wodehouse, steampunk and a touch of Sherlock Holmes. Dolley is a master at capturing and blending all these elements. More than fascinating, this work is also rip-roaring fun! But where Dolley really excels is in capturing the atmosphere and humor of the Bertie and Jeeves stories. Any Wodehouse fan will want to grab a copy of this work, but even if you have never explored that world, What Ho, Automaton! is a fun and fascinating read. Highly recommended, take a spin in this steampunk hybrid and enjoy the ride!” — SFRevu

  “I found myself laughing out loud at Reggie and the fabulous Reeves as they romped their way through various adventures. A homage to Wodehouse without being sycophantic, this is fantastic.” — Sueo23

  “I enjoyed every page of this book. A steampunk novel that combines classic British Humor, tongue-in-cheek references to Sherlock Holmes and a cast of great characters. I don’t think I’ve actually laughed out loud this much while reading a book in a very long time.” — ErisAerie

  “Dolley has managed to capture Wodehouse’s style, rhythm, and sense of humor almost perfectly … it is just so much fun, and the author’s exploration of this alternative England, full of robots and polite Frankenstineian constructs, adds an absurd depth not found in its inspiration.” — Magus Manders

  “Absolutely enjoyable book to read. The author creates this fantastical old England with a nut of a main character and a mechanical sidekick that leave you grinning after each page. It’s the next best thing to Sherlock Holmes, and I hope there are sequels.” — Ashschreck

  “A rollicking good read! Not having read the original Wodehouse (although feeling a sudden desire to) but being a huge fan of the TV series I adored these stories - I could hear Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry in my head. True to character and quick of wit, I couldn’t stop laughing.” — Larry Auld

  Reggiecide — $2.99

  This novella is the second of the Reeves and Worcester Steampunk Mysteries.

  Guy Fawkes is back and this time it’s a toss up who’s going to be blown up first — Parliament or Reginald Worcester, gentleman consulting detective.

  But Guy might not be the only regicide to have been dug up and reanimated. He might be a mere pawn in a plan of diabolical twistiness.

  Only a detective with a rare brain — and Reggie’s is amongst the rarest — could possibly solve this ‘five-cocktail problem.’ With the aid of Reeves, his automaton valet, Emmeline, his suffragette fiancée, and Farquharson, a reconstituted dog with Anglican issues, Reggie sets out to save both Queen Victoria and the Empire.

  “I find that a good book is enjoyable by the end of the first chapter. This book was good by the end of the first SENTENCE - ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a chap in possession of a suffragette fiancee is in need of a pair of bolt cutters.’ As you can guess this story is a treasure trove of homages as well as just a jolly good romp. Treat yourself to this joyride.” — Media Junkie

  “Funny, extremely well-written, short and sweet. All those words come to mind after reading this little masterpiece.” — zjordi

  Resonance — $2.99

  Graham Smith is a 33 year old office messenger. To the outside world he’s an obsessive compulsive mute - weird but harmless. But to Graham Smith, it’s the world that’s weird. And far from harmless. He sees things other can’t…or won’t. He knows that roads can change course, people disappear, office blocks migrate across town - all at night when no one’s looking.

  Only by following a rigid routine can he lessen these effects. If he walks the same route to work every morning and catches the same train, and keeps himself to himself, then there’s a good chance his house will still be where he left it when he returns home in the evening.

  Annalise Mercado hears voices. Sometimes she thinks they’re spirit guides, sometimes she thinks she’s crazy. But then they start telling her about Graham Smith, the danger he’s in and how only she can save him. So begins the story of two people whose lives appear fragmented across alternate realities. And how, together, they hold the key to the future of a billion planets…

  “Resonance is a tremendously accomplished book … and immediately raises Dolley into the ranks of writers to watch. It’s a head-over-heels romp through ever-changing realities, crammed with great set-pieces, excellent hooks and some nice one-liners.” — Keith Brooke, Infinity Plus

  “This is one of the most original new science fiction books I have ever read. In fact, as an inspired new take on a familiar SF idea it’s original enough to stand comparison with “The Time Traveler’s Wife” or “Memoirs of an Invisible Man.” If it is as big a hit as it deserves, it may well be this book which becomes the standard by which SF stories about … are judged.” — Marshall Lord

  “I have read a lot of science fiction and have gone through tons of plots, so when I find one that is unique I certainly take notice. Resonance is one of those books that have it all. Interesting plot with plenty of mysteries and twists, characters you care about, and solid writing that strings it all together.” — Jeffrey Miller

  Shift — $2.99

  A near future SF mystery thriller with a touch of out-of-body horror.

  A serial killer with multiple personalities. An astronaut who returns from higher dimensional space a changed man. And two unlikely detectives who have to get inside the mind of a killer … literally.

  “Shift is an exciting and shocking futuristic thriller. The characters are original, and the imagery pulls you in. Incorporating heart-pounding suspense and an inventive twist of science fiction, I enjoyed this story even more than Dolley’s Resonance.” — SciFiChick

  Magical Crimes — $0.99

  Magical Crimes is a fun CSI with magic and ‘a little something else’ novelette. The little something else being two foot long and lurking in the hero’s trousers. But don’t worry, the boinkwurst in this story is used purely for the purpose God intended — humour and crimefighting — not lustful titillation.

  “Fun main characters and a couple of twists. But above all it made me laugh, smile, smirk and chuckle time and again...the sleight of hand with language, the odd but pleasing combination of wit and silliness, and of course the quirky law enforcement setting, rather reminded me of Jasper Fforde.” — Tiggrie

  “I have read a lot of strange things, but this idea tops the kooky list.” — Cheryl M-M

  “I loved Seb Kemp, and laughed out loud many times over his trouser problem.” — Griffindor

  “I was in the mood for a bit of silliness and this story was just the thing. The premise of a crime fighter with extra powers was clever and his 'difficulty' added a wonderful bit of slap-stick humour.” - P E

  “I liked Seb, found the story humorous throughout and couldn't put it
down!” - Cianta

  “I found myself laughing real belly laughs at times and loved the ending too.” - Leicester Tiger

  “This is a very enjoyable short story...At one point, I was laughing out loud. However, the story actually works well as a mystery story.” — AnneDon

  International Kittens of Mystery — $2.99

  In an uncertain world there is one organisation that stands head and small furry shoulders above the rest. Whenever the planet is in danger - be it from giant balls of wool or bands of renegade squirrels - only one group is guaranteed to answer the call. The International Kittens of Mystery!

  This is a journal of their stories. For the first time, cameras have been allowed into one of their top secret training camps - Training Camp Alpha. A camp where, underthe supervision of pet humans, recruits are shown not only how to save the world but also how to manage their secret identities - how to blend in and infiltrate the human society that they alone can protect.

  “Cat pictures! Silly jokes! Adventures! Exclamation points! This book constitutes the best-spent twenty minutes I’ve had in quite some time.” — What Book is That

  “Hilarious! I can’t wait to show this book to my sons. I know it will remain a source of fun for us for years to come.” — The True Book Addict

  Medium Dead — $3.99

  Medium Dead is a fun urban fantasy chronicling the crime fighting adventures of Brenda - a reluctant medium - and Brian - a Vigilante Demon with an impish sense of humour. Think Stephanie Plum with magic and a dash of Carl Hiaasen.

  Brenda Steele is smart, funny and out of her depth. A Vigilante Demon called Brian wants her to find murdered spirits and help him track down their killers. But Brian doesn’t just catch criminals, he likes to play with them first, and make the punishment fit the crime. As he tells Brenda, “If all you did was turn up, capture the bad guy then leave - century after century - you’d die of boredom.”

  He’s also reckless - his last partner died during one of his takedowns.

  Along the way, Brenda discovers that Brian isn’t as old, or as powerful, as he led her to believe. He might even be human. Whereas the murderer they’re hunting, and the child he’s holding prisoner, might not.

  “I was hooked by the end of page one and laughing out loud by the middle of page two. Finally, a new author as witty and sassy as Janet Evanovich.” - Lark Susak

  “This was a very entertaining story. I enjoyed the characters and humor. Nothing better than a good belly laugh. Can’t wait for the next installment,” - Stephanie Robert

  “Yes, yes, yes you will want to read Medium Dead by Chris Dolley. Yes, if you enjoy your mysteries with stumbling heroines and heroes trying to exercise detective skills they may not actually have. Yes, if you don’t mind laughing out loud as you read. And yes, if you enjoy your terror without horror,” - Kathleen Kempa

  About Book View Café

  Book View Café is a professional authors’ publishing cooperative offering DRM-free ebooks in multiple formats to readers around the world. With authors in a variety of genres including fantasy, romance, mystery, and science fiction, Book View Café has something for everyone.

  Book View Café is good for readers because you can enjoy high-quality DRM-free ebooks from your favorite authors at reasonable prices.

  Book View Café is good for writers because 95% of the profits goes directly to the book’s author.

  Book View Café authors include New York Times and USA Today bestsellers; Nebula, Hugo, and Philip K. Dick Award winners; World Fantasy and Rita Award nominees; and winners and nominees of many other publishing awards.